Not sure if it’s a repost. But it made me giggle.
I think she’s planning to watch the highlights later.
Cop: It was a moving violation.
What’s up with dat!?
She’s still not talking to me.
The bed might be easier though.
An hour after checking in, the man calls the front desk. Man- "My wife and I had a fight and she is going to jump out the window." Help desk- " It's your personal matter and we cant help in this situation. " Man- " Personal matter my ass the window doesn't open."
And a Czech one too. A Czech one too.
According to Beijing, it's as calm as a June Summer's day in Tiananmen Square.
Texas Instruments of Torture.
It kept crashing with kernel errors.
Waiter: No I said will you be dining alone? Me: Oh
I replied, "Mate, it's 2020, you can use any printer you want."
The virus is literally making us go fuck ourselves.
But after I dropped one we have to use a ball now.
I tell everyone she’s into human trafficking.
If you pull the ring, your house is gone.
but it was just my imagine Asian.
I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you
Anyone can mash potatoes.
No text found
Because they had reservations
Sometimes, he laughs!
Cause I’m not sure – I don’t have 2020 vision. You’re welcome, Dad
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
The sweater I got for Christmas was picking up static electricity. So I went to the store to return it.
They gave me another one. Free of charge.
Milk- it’s pasteurized before you see it
Blunt force trauma.
Apparently, the correct term is conjoined twins…
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
He felt his presents.
I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said “Have a good day, son”
"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad." He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
I don't know, I just like meth and feta memes.
A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.
He was absolutely delighted.
The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.