On the other hand everything is OK. Happy Fathers Day everybody
Bartender to the the Texan: That will be $5 Bartender to the Mexican: That will be $3 The Texan, upset, asks why the same beer cost less for the Mexican The Bartender replies, "Señor Discount"
Luckily for him i was still up playing my drums
A man walked into a bar on the 100th floor of a building, chugged a pint, then jumped out of an open window.
Ten minutes later, with no injuries, he ran back into the bar, chugged a pint, then jumped out of the same window. When he returned ten minutes later, a man asked him how he survived. “You see, alcohol makes you warmer and heat rises. So if you chug a pint really quickly then concentrate really hard as you fall, you temporarily float just before you hit the ground.” The man was so amazed that he too chugged a pint even faster than the other man, then jumped out of the window. He fell and fell and fell… and then landed on the ground with a splat. He died instantly. The bartender then turned to the man in the bar and said, “You’re such a dick when you’re drunk, Superman.”
The second one’s a repost.
…when will the U.S. government start arming them?
Because then it would be a foot.
I think I’m being stalked…
He felt his presents!
But it's hard to deliver
But I feel like I'm hitting a wall
Apparently you need to be a complete dick.
Because with great power comes great response ability
When the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me." So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually, he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here right now!" I said, "£100 and it's yours."
But to me, March 14th will always be cake day.
Dad: No, why would I pick you?
She asked why I broke up with the last girl and I said "It didn't work out." She told me to be more specific so I said "I just told you, she didn't exercise."
And that means my Reddit account is older than most anti-vax kids will ever be.
He wants to make America grate again.
She still isn't talking to me
You never turn your back on your family.