“NuClEaRiNo WastErINo 10K yEArS storino, bromino, really bromino”
Because light attracts bugs
Because they have little anty bodies
He wanted to put his money where his mouth is
Been so many years and nobody told me.
An octopus with 1 extra heart. (It’s a learning joke 😁)
So you can Scandinavian.
It was Won Ton
It was a shitzu
He was loafing around.
Two men only have a dollar for their night out and they want to get wasted. So they go into a night shop and buy a sausage. The first bar they go in they order 2 beers each. When they decide to leave, one takes out the sausage and places it between his legs. The other bends over and starts sucking on it. The barteneder forgetting that they had not payed yet thinks something else is going on so he kicks them out. They repeat this for around 15 more bars and are hammered. Then the first guy says "damn my back hurts from bending over so much!" The second says "you think that's bad? I lost the sausage 7 bars ago"
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are. Me: Trick question… dogs can't whistle.
Make sure you stay after the ceremony is finished.
But when it does, no one is shocked.
About a handful
A passing soldier notices this, walks over and rolls his pants across the car. Magically, the car unlocks. The woman is relieved but puzzled, asking him how he did it. "That's easy. These are khakis."
Then I realised she can't even.
To a certain degree.
Between you and me something smells.
It was lit
When she gets there, she is confused to find everyone furiously cracking eggs, dumping flour, and mixing batter. She turns around and sees an entire section dedicated to decoration, with elaborate concoctions of blueberries, frosting, and tiering at every station. Finally, she sees someone who appears to be in charge. She runs over and asks the man, "what is going on here?" The strange man replies, "everyone here is doing their best to better their souls." Confused at the cryptic answer and curious about the strange man's traditional Mongolian garb, the woman asks him to elaborate. The Buddhist Monk replies, "My dear, having cake is the best way to gain Karma."
I replied, "Probably failing my driving test."
Aisle B, back
Because “daddy” would be too suspicious
MARIO : why Judge : it’s a fine MARIO : (sadly) no itsa not
and AD is now "After Distancing" Welcome to the new dark ages
The letter G
To my horror, I saw her kill a butterfly. To teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."