[OC] t o p f a s h i o n
He says he can stop anytime.
One came, one saw, and one conquered.
The dwarf laughs and walks under it
She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
They've got plenty of wheelpower.
Unfortunately she blew it
The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?" Cashier: "Because you're ugly."
It was a day well spent
Because he'd Benedicted to it. I thought of this joke over 20 years ago as a kid lol
My mom looked at my dad. My dad clenched his fists. My mom screamed: "NO DON'T DO IT" …. My dad, breathing heavily: "HI GAY, I'M DAD!"
I decided to give it a shot.
That's when I realized I drugged the wrong glass!
It’s the Wurst Käse scenario.
According to Beijing, it's as calm as a June Summer's day in Tiananmen Square.
They run at 100 feet a second
They looked at the reviews… Only 1 star.
I said, “Just because you’re unwilling to try new things, doesn’t mean everyone’s that frigid.” “Not that,” she explained, “It’s just the plumbers that come to our house have tiny cocks.”
The difference is staggering.
A man walks in to a bar with a box under his arm and says to the barman, “If I can show something you have never seen before will you give me a free drink?”
Now the barman has seen mostly everything in his time and says, “Sure, impress me and hell, I’ll give you a free tab for the eve!” So the man puts down the box and opens it and then he pulls a small piano out of it and places it on the bar and then a little man as well. The little man walks up to the piano and starts playing! The barman was blown away by this and agrees to the drinks and then asks, “Where did you find him?” “Well,” says the man, “I found this magic lamp.” Goes back in to the box and pulls out this old brass oil lamp. “I rubbed it and a genie appeared and granted me one wish and then he said I must pass the lamp on to the next person that did me a kindness.” “Wow,” says the barman. The man then says, “As you gave me a drink I’m going to let you have the lamp.” “Be careful what you wish for though.” So the barman rubs the lamp and then makes his wish……… Next thing the bar has ducks everywhere!!! Crapping on the bar and the floor and all over the customers!!!!! The barman shouts at the man saying,“ I wished for a million Bucks! not a million ducks!” To this the man replies, “ And you think that I wished for a 12 inch Pianist?!”
Stamp – licky-sticky Defibrillator – hearty-starty Bumble bee – fuzzy-buzzy Fork – stabby-grabby Socks – feety-heaties Nightmare – screamy-dreamy Tennis racket – stringy-swingy Cactus – pricky-sticky Squid – squishy-fishy Horror film – thrashy-slashy Whisky – stinky-drinky Wasp – stingy-wingy Parrot – wordie-birdie Auto-correct – writey-righty Lifejacket – boaty-coaty
It's Europe. So long and also strong that it is binding all the EU countries.
MARIO : why Judge : it’s a fine MARIO : (sadly) no itsa not
At least, that’s what she said in her diary
I crack myself up sometimes. I went grocery shopping earlier today and when I got home the wife asked “where are the mushrooms?” … without missing a beat, I said
“I couldn’t get them, there wasn’t ‘mush room’ in the trolley. “ She threw things at me
So I killed the doctor and the judge gave me 20 years.