Oh my god
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People must be dying to get there.
"that makes two of us"
I know I’m not > or < than any anyone else
Sometimes he even laughs!
They're always digging up the past.
"You guys want to see a dead body?"
When a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned
Or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet
A big city doctor visits an Native American tribe full of men and he asks “How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?”
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc? We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
God tells him "Because of your excellent behaviour in life, I will grant you one wish, you can ask me anything." The man says "Okay, Tell me who killed JFK?" God says "It was Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone, using his own rifle" The man says "Wow, this goes higher up than I thought"
I'm going to call it Poke, Mon
Crimes against piece
They don’t hang themselves. Happy Halloween
It's really hard to quit cold turkey
They forget that I exist unless they want something
..is a shitty way to tell a kid they're adopted
For Hispanic attacks.
Should win a no-bell prize
Einstein’s dad: Damn son, it’s about time.
A great thing ruined by a period
The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
Dawn is tough on Greece.
BUT MY KEYBOARD WAS BROKEN.
So I packed up my stuff and right.