Oh my god
All of them, mountains can't jump.
They’re just so remarkable…
It's fucking r/aww
They were originally made in Greece
with a sea-saw
My friends are really tired of hearing the same jokes over and over again.
Its just something I could see myself doing
He’ll be born in February.
I don’t know wtf I was doing fucking a guy but I obviously wasn’t thinking straight
and I had a few beers, followed by a few bourbons and a number of shots….. I still had the sense to know I was over the limit. That's when I decided to do what I have never done before, I locked up my bike in a secure place, and I took a cab home. Sure enough, there was a police check point on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This came as a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before, I don't even know where I got it from, and now that it is in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.
When I'm feeling saucy.
He liked to feel the draft coming in.
No text found
But when I woke I realized that it was just a Fanta sea.
Instant karma. Saluting this Judge who threw a drunk driver’s mom in jail for laughing at victim’s family in court
As they are about to start climbing the 100 steps to heaven, God says, "Wait!" "At every step I will tell you a joke, if you don't laugh, you can go to heaven." The girls agree, and start climbing. On the 27th step, the redhead starts laughing, and disappears. On the 77th step, the brunette can't hold in her laughter, and disappears. On the 99th step, the blonde begins to laugh. Before making her disappear, God asks, "You were so close, why would you start laughing." To which the blonde replies, "I finally got the joke from the first step."
Unfortunately it was at Taco Bell.
On the upside, it’s buttered. But on the downside, it’s not.
If i could find a country that didn't take immigrants in I'd move there…
Now she’s a medium.
but they keep ending up in the gutter.
Love means nothing to them!
Interviewer: “I meant any questions about the job.”
Pencils posed an issue; 2B or not 2B
he’ll be the first mumble rapper to finish a sentence
I told her "That is not true, in fact I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
He was running a huge pyramid scheme.