Doctors are sending anyone with peekaboo straight to ICU.
We couldn't afford a dog.
He teaches Taekwon D'oh!
I’m worried my young daughter might have a future in crime. Today, she found a tree branch on the ground…
She immediately raised it above her head and said, “This is a stick up!” (Credit to my 2.5 year old- inspired by true events)
I should have never left them in the same box as the bishops.
I call it my jingle bell rock.
Which means our women will be driving
Keanu is breathtaking, the other one is breadtaking.
The little moron was a little more on.
No text found
It had a vowel movement.
Nothing, they just waved. Sea what I did there? Im Shore you did, but can’t kelp it but laugh
For one, you have to use a bicycle. For the other, you can use a race car.
You're a multicellular organism.
In a dadabase….
Turns out, my parents weren't even related.
The new campaign is a killer
National Dyslexic Association
"How did you know it was dead?" his teacher asked "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move." the boy said. "You did what?!" the teacher shrieked. "You know," the boy explained, "I leaned over and went 'Psst!' in its ear and it didn't move!"
But I laugh more.
I told her good idea, we can cover more ground that way.
Nothing they're fine
ME: [hesitantly] You're… an ambulance? DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son […dies]
She replied, "Aisle B, back"
And now I'm no longer allowed in the library
the fact that I came to the door naked, or the fact that I knew where he lived.