Ok boomer
This STEM discord server has enough energy to emit light In the visual spectrum 🔥
https://ift.tt/37QiCtg
Elon Musk and Bill Gates should team up to invent a cure for erectile dysfunction,
and name it ElonGates
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation to the local swimming pool
I gave him a glass of water.
I saw 2000 pounds of quarters the other day
That’s a ton of money!
A man asks his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?” She replied, “I’d take half then leave you.”
"Sweet!", he replied. "I won $20. Here's $10. Now bugger off."
My boss just appointed me as his sexual consultant.
He said, “When I want your fucking advice, I’ll ask for it.”
A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex ed. to her class…
She starts out by drawing a penis on the chalk board and asks the class, "Does anyone know what this is?" And little Johnny says, "Yes, my dad has 2 of them!" And the teacher says, "Are you sure about that?" And little Johnny says, "Yes, he uses a small skinny one to go to the bathroom, and a big long one to brush the babysitter's teeth."
Did you hear that Michael Jackson’s had a sex change?
He identifies as he/he.
I always knock on the fridge before I open it
Just in case there's a salad dressing
I ordered a thesaurus online, but when it arrived and I opened it, the whole book was empty, all pages blank!
There are no words to describe how mad I am!
Why is the horse so happy?
Because he lives in a stable environment.
A Baptist preacher sits next to a cowboy on a flight. After the plane takes off, the cowboy asks for a whiskey and soda, which is promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asks the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replies, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips." The cowboy then hands his drink back to the attendant and says, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."
[NSFW] I went to the library and asked the librarian if they had the new book about small penises.
She said “I don’t think it’s in yet.” I replied “Yeah, that’s the one.”
Where do sasquatches live?
Sasquatchewan!
Every room’s gotta have door,
and that's where I come in.
Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and Matthew McConaughey have decided to make a movie together!
Ben Affleck says: "I'll produce it!" Matt Damon says: "I'll direct it!" Matthew McConaughey says: "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write!"
Don’t spell part backwards
It's a trap
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie.
What do you call a fake turd?
A shampoo
I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length…
Must be some kind of milestone…
A dude was wondering why a rock was getting bigger
Then it hit him
I wanna try asking out my school crush, but it might come off as awkward
Man being a teacher is hard
Name calling does not a president make. He has the mentality of a spoiled child.
https://ift.tt/38EQkmd
A German got pulled over by the Police in France.
Police Officer: Name? German: Heinrich Klimt Police officer: Age? German: 32 Police Officer: Occupation? German: No, no. Just visiting.
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change colour?
He had reptile dysfunction
A bunch of electricians threw a party
It was lit
I once farted in an apple store.
They got real mad but it wasn't my fault they didn't have any windows.
I was telling my friend there’s only one thing I get really scared of at Halloween.
"Which is?" he asked. "Exactly."
![AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I SURE HOPE SOMEONE GETS THIS SUPER COMPLEX JOKE HAHAHAH I’M FUCKING DEAD 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 [x-post /r/mathmemes]](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/oa1acis08ht11-400x331.jpg)
Dad, are we pyromaniacs?
Yes we arson
“Mom? Don’t freak out, but I’m in the hospital…”
"Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, “what are you going to do now?”
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
What’s the best reward for a knock knoc joke?
A no-bell price