I don’t know, he ransomware
Unfortunatley, I didn't impress anyone at the cremation…
Now it's not a very beautiful poem… But it's quite deep
How different do you think your life would have been if your parents named you Moe instead of Neil and would you still use your full name?
He was a real tan gent.
I'm not coming in this morning.
Just paramedics and someone else if they’re patient enough
I still do, but I used to too
I thought to myself: "Well… This changes everything"
Unfortunately, too many of them got elected…
That’s a lot to digest.
Ensures that you end up in the cast…
Co-Mando. (Credit to my girlfriend)
I asked, "Who is this guy?" My grandfather said, "He's my hip replacement."
You are not alone
One gay man says to the other "Hey you want to join the mile high club right here?" The other gay man replied "Here? We will get caught!" The first man smiles and says "Relax everyone is asleep. Watch" he then stands up and says "Does anyone have a pencil?" To which he recieves no response. This is enough for the other gay man who stands up and gets behind the man at which point they have sex. A few hours later a flight attendant walking down the down the aisle see an old man who has thrown up all over himself. She asks the man "Sir why didn't you ask for a vomit bag?" To which the old man replied "Well the last guy asked for a pencil and he got fucked in the ass"
ME: Where are we going? Dad: To pick up our glasses from the optometrist. ME: Than What? Dad: We'll see..
He doesn't know if he will ever come back or not. So, he puts on an iron chastity belt on his wife, gives the key to his best friend Micheal and says, "If I don't come back in 3 years, set her free". Michael agrees and brave Knight Edward sets out on his big black horse. He gallops toward the hills, knowing he may be leaving his beloved city forever. When on top of the hills, he looks back, just to have one last look at his beloved city. To his surprise he sees a big cloud of dust coming towards him. He waits and soon can make out the shapes of a horseman coming toward him as fast as the poor animal can manage. When the horseman is closer, he can finally see it is none other than his best friend Micheal. Michael stops his horse, still panting "you gave me the wrong keys".
I guess you could say it was bread in captivity
and log in to your online banking system. It feels like someone else is paying your bills.
My Anesthesiologist said that if I didn’t want knockout gas he could hit me in the head with a paddle.
He wouldn't do both. It was ether/oar.
Then she did and my day was ruined.
It's pasture bedtime
I have got some news for her.
Because Dawn is tough on Greece.