Ok then, don’t if you don’t want to
tosses him a frisbee
It won't do anything to protect you from getting sick, but people will stay six feet away
By a virus from China , named after a Mexican beer?
He was a neck romancer.
A dangerous, digital age unspoken disease! Watch NOW!
I’m not going to spread it!
Remains to be seen.
Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
A lip reader
She told me, "Probably just some yogurt." Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I don't ejaculate yogurt.
He hated the juice.
Today I was invited by a female janitor to smoke some weed at her apartment, but i politley declined.
I can’t deal with high maintenance women.
There was nothing left but de Brie.
Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you." The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her. "Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. Before you know it, they're getting down to it. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise. "Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!" "Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
… about Chinese people and the Corona Virus. An overly sensitive and overweight female co-worker said that just because I'm Asian, doesn't mean that the joke wasn't racist… I asked her, "So if i tell a race joke, does it mean I'm a racist?" She responded, "Yes, telling a joke based on a race makes you a racist!" I then asked, "What if i told a fat joke? Would that make me a fatist?" She thought for a while before replying… "Well, yes… that would make you a fatist…" I looked at her and replied, "No, you're the fattest!"
They’re soft drinks.
That’s ridiculous. My dogs don’t even own bikes
The interviewer: You answers should be quick Me: Ok Interviewer: what is 1490/52? Me:quick
“Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?” “Rhino!”
"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn!"
It's really irrational.
A clitoris only tastes like piss for a second.
Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it.
The other one replies, “Yes. I believe that comes from sitting on these wicker chairs.”
I just asked Siri "surely it's still not going to be stormy tomorrow?" Siri replied, "yes it will be and don't call me Shirley" Realised my phone was in Airplane mode
He decides to test the robot at dinner one night. He asks his son what he did that afternoon. The boy said "I did my homework." The robot slaps him. "Okay, okay! I watched a movie at my friend's house" said the boy. "What movie did you watch?" asked the father. The boy said "Toy Story." The Robot slapped him. "Okay, okay! We watched porn!" said the boy. "What?! When I was your age, I didn't even know what porn was!" said the father. The robot slapped him. The mother laughed "Well, he certainly is your son!" The robot slapped her.
It was a brief case.
A four-chin teller
It's a cover version.
Children shouldn't run with scissors and Lesbians shouldn't scissor with the runs
I said: "Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."
Me: raises hand Teacher: Very good. Any other examples?