Okie dokie boomer
And now there aren’t any horny milfs in my area that want to have sex with me anymore.
Hi, I want to buy potassium nitrate « legal way » in Canada to make homemade rocket, does anyone know where I could buy potassium nitrate ? Thanks
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
Is he guilty of resisting a rest
Glenn and his wife were working in their garden one day when Glenn looks over at his wife and says, “Your butt is getting really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom. "Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!" The wife chose to ignore the husband. Later that night in bed Glenn was feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie
It was quite the spectacle
The dog says, “but I rounded them up.”
Those who understand binary, and those who don`t
It's really gonna spice up the autobiography.
New password is “chickenkiev”
If it isn't autocorrect
Your pupils. They dilate.
But they just never work out
The food is great but there’s not much atmosphere.
Igloo it back together again.
She fits in your wife’s clothes
So I got it in Appleton, Wisconsin.
Me: Floors are beneath me.
… until you get it.
You put a nipple on it
[100 years ago] witch: fuck this house
..My door is always open.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, “I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, “The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
But hay, it's in my jeans.
I said, "Take your phone off silent." That's when the fight started.
But none of them work.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody even raises an eyebrow.
Dad: nothing, apparently.