OMG, He’s dying!
But the day before was a Saturday.
The class had just scratched the surface!
I don’t do drugs
The more ohms you have, the greater the resistance.
Would his name be stoptimus Crime?
A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man was persistent. The boy said he’d go ask his manager what to do. He walked into the back room and said, “There’s some jerk out there who wants to buy only half a head of lettuce.” As he finished saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, “So he added, “And this gentleman wants to buy the other half,” The manager okayed the deal. Later the manager said to the boy, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet, and we like that around here. Where’re you from, son?” The boy replied, “Minnesota, sir”. “Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota?” asked the manager. The boy replied, “There all just whores and hockey players up there.” “My wife is from Minnesota,” the manager said. The boy replied, “Really!? What team did she play for?”
Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.
"I'm a big metal fan."
A garbage truck.
It’s not Uranus
But so far I've made 3 vases and a jug.
A zoo just had several break-ins and many animals are now running around loose in the park. In today’s meeting however, management was only concerned about discussing changes to the gift shop…
I'm not sure why we're not addressing the elephant in the room…
I just made a list of my top 10 favourite Dad jokes. The first 9 are great but the last one is an absolute cracker
1) great 2) great 3) great 4) great 5) great 6) great 7) great 8) great 9) great 10) An absolute cracker
Husband : emphatic no, five letters Wife : never H : pistol, three letters W : gun H : disgust, three letters W : ugh H : charity, four letters W : give H : female sheep, three letters W : ewe H : Pixar movie, two letters W : Up
PRODUCER: You mean a choir? “Fine, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?”
Cop: You are the lawyer. Lawyer: Exactly, so where’s my present?
On his second day he'll legalize it everywhere else.
A Roamin’ Catholic
..But its definitely worth a shot.
by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
But I couldn't catch them all
Sorry about the shitpost
It's about raisin awareness.
Comes great response ability.
I understand, she is deadly allergic to nuts.
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But I never got the chants.