OMG I CAN’T STOP
Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.
I am thankful every day that I live in Canada.
It was an iDivorce
Stranger Things have happened.
He is now called winnie the flu
Magician: Looking at pear “You’re ugly!”
The other replies "shut your mouth"
She has the world worst stutter.
Because a Jewish woman won’t touch anything unless it’s 20% off.
No shock: He was grounded
It was the best dam program I've ever seen
It gave me thesaurus throat I ever had!
A neigh sayer.
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He said he tried it once while in college, but it was so bad that he hasn't got the balls to try it again.
When do we want them! Nooooooooooowwwwwwwwww
Nice shirt. Wow. A second nice shirt. OK, first shirt again. He has two shirts.
She was advertising two jokes for $1 so don't think I just walked up to her and said "I'll give you a dollar if you tell me two jokes." "Why can't miss piggy count to seventy? Because every time she gets to 69 she get a little frog in her throat." "How can you tell your man has a high sperm count? You have to chew before you swallow." My boyfriend paid a dollar and got these – "Two condoms were walking down the street. They passed a gay bar and one looks at the other and says 'hey want to go inside and get shit faced?'" "How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck it's dick."
North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.
The bartender serves the whiskey and all of a sudden a monkey appears running all across the bar jumps and lands with his testicles in the whiskey and smiles to the man. The man, confused, asks to the bartender… -What the hell is this? -Oh, ask the piano player, it is his monkey So the guy looks for the piano player and shouts… -Hey! Do you know why your fucking monkey sunk his balls in my goddam whiskey? -Not by the title, but if you can sing it a little bit I'm sure I can make it work
It always makes me say things I didn’t Nintendo…
Well, he won the No-bell prize.
I’m not buying it.
I tell them it doesn't really matter.
The other letters were not-E.
There is no menu, you get what you deserve.
Oh well, hindsight is 1
One blink and they’ve gone pasteurise.
It's really hard to quit cold turkey
Sorry, just practicing.