omg it is outdoors level!!!
One sells watches, while the other watches cells. 😆
Sorry, just practicing.
"Arrrr…it were on sail."
A duck that didnt duck
He and his twin sister, Ling, had recently moved here from China and so they had very traditional names. One day, Ving mentioned to me how much he hated his name. “What kind of name is Ving? It’s so stupid,” he said, frustrated. “You know, you can get your name changed at city hall.” “Really? It’s that easy?” “Yeah you just have to fill out some paperwork.” I paused. “I can drive you if you want.” “Thanks dude. What would I even change my name to though?” “How about something common that holds on to your roots? Something like Lee.” “Lee. I like it.” Unfortunately, Ling had overheard our talk and launched into a tirade about how his name had been in the family for generations and he couldn’t just throw away his heritage like that. Ving was set though. The next day, we drove to city hall. Ling insisted on coming along, hoping to convince Ving to change his mind. She complained the entire way. Ving wasn’t deterred though. We finally got to city hall and got the paperwork. As he was filling it out, Ving’s face changed. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “You’ve been excited all day and yesterday for this.” “I know, I know. It’s just— it’s my dad’s name too. I don’t know.” Ving sighed. “I don’t think I can go through with it.” Ling looked relieved. The receptionist noted that there was a small cancellation fee. Ling happily took out some money. Suddenly, an Asian man in Ray-Bans, neon shorts, and an American flag T-shirt bursted through the doors. “Dad!” Ving, tears streaming down his face, ran to embrace his father. Ving Sr. smiled at his son. “Don’t stop. Be Lee, Ving. Hold on to that fee Ling.”
Police officers are worth their weight in copper.
Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.
I was just sitting around doing nothing.
People always asked how I could tell them apart. I said it's easy, Mary always paints her nails purple and George has a cock.
So they called it a day.
They are named Kay and Elle.
One day, someone asked him where the medical building was, Fred replied, "it's over there and to the left. I do research on the brain in there." Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.
When its apparent.
please form an orderly orderly orderly queue.
Fine, suture self.
Guy: How rare? Doc: Really rare. Guy: What’s it called? Doc: You choose.
It's like he blew up overnight.
That I revealed cheat notes from a calculus test from 1972
Walking! Jk, Rowling
She looked surprised.
Historically it's rare for a King to leave the throne alive.
He was really good with his chord changes
The bartender says to the rabbit, "What can I get ya, sir?" The rabbit says, " I have no idea. I'm only here because of Autocorrect."
Take the front page, it's over 90% recycled content!
i was like OMg
So her husband packs up his things and walks out the door. As he is walking away his wife screams at him, “ I hope you die a slow and painful death!” He suddenly stops and says, “So, you want me to stay?”
A man decided to attend his friend’s funeral. He approached his friend’s widow and after a consoling hug said “Plethora”.
She responded "Thanks that means a lot".
Because everything is already 100% recycled.
To get to the other slide
Weird way to finally find out what he did for a living.
I told my son people keep accidentally pleading for me to purchase meat for them. He asked, “By mistake?”
I shouted, “Oh come on! Not you too!”
I prefer to think of it as a father figure.
but all the seats were taken.
After half a minute they all went home.