One can only hope..
All of them, mountains can't jump.
"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !" "Thanks dad !" "No problem Alan"
We have a friend who likes to have sex with inanimate objects, but we haven’t seen him for a long time.
He always has stuff to do.
A drunk man was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk man ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards." He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth.." Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
🌽🌽🌽 He was out-standing in his field 🌽🌽🌽
They’re always up to something
Keeps calling it a hippo potty myth
I got 48,500 matches.
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Ok brace yourselves for an absolute travesty of a joke, said during bathtime after water got into my daughter’s eyes.
I told my wife: There's the captain water, and the crewmember water. The captain water says: "All right crewmembers, do you know where you have to go?" The crewmember water replies: "Eye eye, sir!" This earned me a proper facepalm from my wife which I shall wear proudly as a badge of honor and now share here with you.
When he got there, he started to swing at a tree when it suddenly shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!” The lumberjack laughed and said, “And you will dialogue.”
He likes to keep up with current events.
Boob: I give milk to newborn babies and I’m attractive to the opposite sex, that’s why I’m the greatest. Vagina: I give birth to babies and I accommodate the opposite sex, that’s why I’m the greatest. . . . . . . . . . Now it's your turn.
When I asked for nuns?
But i just can't see it.
Too many plot holes.
By shredding brown crayon and putting it in a blender with milk!
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.”
He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optician.”
It's like he blew up overnight.
Asbestos they can!
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter’s car seat with one hand and said, “How do one armed mothers do it?”
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."