one knight stand
“I guess alpaca my bags.”
Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow.
Smallpox HAPPY TURKEY DAY!
He always helps me with maps and diagrams, pointing out all the little symbols and what they mean.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
Children shouldn't run with scissors and Lesbians shouldn't scissor with the runs
Girl: Stop flirting with me on the walkie talkies, someone’s gonna hear us. Over.
Probably because it's a Dell
Well I know that. How else could you sell it?
Probably why I’m the only child.
He didn't like to see me sniffing his little sister's panties. Maybe it was because she was wearing it, other than that I don't see what could have bothered him. Anyway, the rest of her funeral went very badly for me.
It really makes my day.
but none of them work.
you're built upside down.
Because that's the only way he can hear.
… I guess you can call me Dav now."
It's nice to have some company
Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan’s side. It even learned to dig for clams.
One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week. His wife answered the door. "Sure…" his wife said. "It will cost you $500." "That much?" "But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town." "I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered. "Sorry…" she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."
Two out of three little ones have no household.
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They were actually cooked in Greece
So far I have made three jugs and a vase so fuck you, Mr. Johnson!
When the big hand touches the little hand.
He said "No. I am German but how did you know my name was Walter?"
Halfway through the terrifying ordeal, I couldn't help but think to myself, "He's giving me a good run for my money.
You can’t see in the dark