Only a symptom of the American disease
I think it's just a stereotype.
Then……. it dawned on me
After one day, I bailed…
129 bugs in the code.
A woman is walking down the street and see a little boy get hit by a car. She knows he won’t survive as soon as she gets to him, looking around she sees a church nearby and asks if he’d like her to get the priest.
The little boy looks into her eyes and says "how can you think of sex at a time like this?"
For God's sake.
Witnesses say he's armed and dangerous.
No text found
Police have arrested a man for having sex with fruit, but they suspect a second perpetrator may still be at large.
The inspector released a statement saying "These people do tend to cum in pears."
He wrote poultry for her.
I texted her "Oh pun the door!"
A grandpa joke
Not because they don’t have it, but because they can’t figure out how to read the tests.
I mean, it's not very hard.
a Calendar has dates.
A farmer quickly purchased land in a low-lying depression and began raising donkeys there. He did so with skill and the donkeys rarely got away.
Long story short, he hauled ass to amass asses in a hole asset, whole-ass not half-ass, lassoed the asses so that they wouldn't bypass the ass hole.
There were two christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.
As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then John said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.'' Then Mike said ''No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm gonna be honest''. So John and Mike went to the Mosque ahead and were greeted by an Arab Muslim, who asked what their names were. John thought of a Muslim name and said, 'My name is Muhammad'. And Mike said 'My name is Mike'. The Arab man said 'Hello Mike.' And told these other men to take Mike and give him food and drink. Then he turned to John and said, 'Salaam Muhammad. Ramadan Mubarak!
GF: Really? Me: Yes. George Foreman: How so?
As big as the previous two combined
They don't wanna get ripped
The nurse sits down at the bar and says, "I'll have a Bloody Mary!" The doctor sits next to her and says, "Give me a rum and coke!" The anti-vaxver says, "No shots for me." She then collapses and dies from polio.
He was so full of himself.
But “Shatner Panties” was not a good business.
Because you’ll get jurasskicked.
"That trebuchet is really something. Let's get the cat!"
RIP Larry Tesler, the UI designer that created Cut, Copy and Paste, died age 74
When I got home, I realised I didn't even have a coconut.
Because he keeps breaking the fourth wall
She laughed at me, and said "Oh uncle you're so old. Just use my phone." So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.
Cause he didn't want to be spotted!
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
She said, "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace!" So I bought her . . . nothing.
The people in Dubai don't like The Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi dooooo!!!!!!!!!!