OOF 😂😂😂
Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards….
creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is
My girlfriend asked how do I view lesbian relationships…
Apparently 1080p wasn't the best answer.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
A man and a woman are standing in an elevator. The woman suddenly asks “Is having a penis nice?”
The man laughed and said “Eh, it has its ups and downs.”
What is this, some kind of Boomer joke that I’m too Millennial to understand?
https://ift.tt/2H77fSO
A few minutes ago, I came to the conclusion that tofu is overrated.
It’s just a curd to me.
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?
They checked the reviews……………. only one star.
Why did it take so long for the pirates to learn the Alphabet?
They got stuck at C
The New Year’s celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.
They really dropped the ball this time.
Technically, national anthems are just country music.
No text found
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my word.
I’m assuming that none of the Jenners ask Kylie to make breakfast.
Since she can't even beat an egg
My uncle used to breed and sell parakeets…
they were flying off the shelves but he switched to chickens and they didn't take off. So he tried ducks and then it was all bills, bills, bills.
My friend said ALL comforters are too hot….
I told him that was a blanket statement.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi's
Babies Drinking beer. So funny!!! If your baby didn’t drink beer then YOU’RE A SISSY
https://ift.tt/3cqErSG
What’s the heights of over confidence
. Edit: thank you kind stranger for the Silver!
For years I was against organ transplants
Then I had a change of heart
A voice at the back of my head keeps telling me…
..that the doctors really screwed up my mouth surgery.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He Never Lands! I like this joke because it never grows old 🙂
Once I was so broke I couldn’t even pay the electricity bill.
Those were dark days.
Even robots need a vacation from time-to-time
When I was a young man in in Army Cadets, we had big ornamental robot that we called ‘old-iron-sides’ with a big brass bugle that would play all the calls to the troops. In the morning it would play ‘reveille’ to wake, ‘mess call’ for meals, ‘drill call’ to assemble in the square, etc. We all got so used to these queues that we relied to them to know what to do at each time of the day. Until one day iron robot was silent and everyone was disoriented, not knowing when to get up, go eat or start a drill. Finally, I went to ask my commanding officer why there were no calls. He said “He’s taking a vacation day”. So I guess it was the Ferrous Bugler's day off.
I like using self-deprecating humor.
I'm just not very good at it.
A blonde joke
Two blondes are walking down a country road. They come upon a fence along a field. One blonde looks across the field and says "Hey, look at the flock of cows!" Her friend says "HERD of cows, you dolt". And she replies "Of course I've heard of cows, theres a flock of them over there".
Bartender job description
Basically you’re a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Here’s a compilation of all the funniest clean jokes in existence
https://youtu.be/q6rn38t6y74kr
It’s a known fact that cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them
It's a case of in one ear and out the udder.
What’s the difference between a camera and a sock?
One takes photos, the other takes five toes!