Otherwise
![[Not my meme] But do you know the answer?](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/hhoyujk4rz541-400x336.jpg)
Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that exploded ?
There was nothing left but de brie
-Sir, you have a bladder infection.
-What’s that? -Urine trouble, sir.
I went for a job interview the other day.
They asked, "Can you perform under pressure?" I said, "No, but I can perform Bohemian Rhapsody."
I got mugged by six dwarves last night.
Not happy.
Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says…
"You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' … and she's always sound asleep."
Why is Waldo’s shirt striped?
Can’t be spotted
The girl with the big booty and a lisp wasn’t at work
She must have called in thick
I say no to alcohol.
It just doesn’t listen.
Don’t use beefstew as a computer password
It's not stroganoff
I took my new gun to the range to try it out, but somehow it won’t work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
Juuls aren’t that bad
They are just USB sticks And when you exhale, you get cloud storage.
What do you call a girl who refuses to pay her bills?
Burnadebt (Just thought of this and I gotta admit…I'm a little bit proud of myself.)
If a woman from Cuba marries a man from Iceland
Are their children called ice cubes?
I took the rear view mirror out of my car
i haven't looked back since
What are pornstars paid?
Income.
bert: “do you want some ice cream?”
ernie: "sherbert"
A chemical warehouse was robbed at gunpoint, the assailants cleaned out all stores of substances with pH above 7.
"All your base are belong to us"
If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN
they become VERY ANGRY
The person who invented knock knock jokes
Should get a nobell prize
I’m not wearing glasses anymore.
I’ve seen enough.
All of my friends have such expansive bucket lists, but mine…
…is just a little pail in comparison.
My neighbour just got arrested for growing weed
I guess my property line isn't where I thought it was
There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, “Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale.”
A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish. The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish." The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish. His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that." The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish. His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass those f**king potatoes!"