…and then, they asked him to count to ten. The man counted, "two, four, six, eight, ten." Then they put the right-half back and removed the left-half, and again asked the man to count to ten. The man counted, "one, three, five, seven, nine." The scientists then removed both halves of the man's brain, and asked him again to count to ten. The man said, "look, we're gonna count to ten. We're gonna count. Because I know numbers, I have the best numbers. All the politicians in Washington can't count to one-believe me, I've counted to one many, many times. They said we couldn't count to ten. Well, I'm beating all of those people in the polls. We're gonna count to ten. Everybody, count to ten. Okay? And let me tell you – let me tell you something. I will be the best counting President God has ever created. We are gonna count to so many tens, I tell you. Look at that!"
If you can’t come let me know
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armor.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What genius decided to call it Erectile Dysfunction and not Ballzheimer's?
He didn't even finish his sentence
His next poop could spell disaster.
To slow geese down.
Crows had to drink at home
Just turn it over, and now it's capsized!
It's a Sikh wall.
It's a re-warding job.
The porn industry can go fu*k themselves for all i care
He just nuts and bolts
Because most of the brides get cold feet.
But when I do, he laughs.
Me: That's because they're on the wrong feet. Son: But they're the only feet I have.
I said I'm not sure but I can definitely perform "another one bites the dust"
He had special kneads.
Is that you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
I hope you’re happy now.
Good players are hard to find.
"Are you going to keep it?" I asked. She said, "No, it stinks like wee."
As he lays there, unable to move, he thinks about all the rejection he has faced. Countless women, scared off by his grotesque appearance, have avoided all contact with him. Never been kissed, never been loved. As he reflects on his sad, lonely existence, a beautiful, busty young lady, in a very skimpy bikini, is walking past. She sees him – a small, limbless blob – out the corner of her eye. He gives her a smile and she smiles back. And then, she starts walking over to him! As she approaches he thinks to himself – “maybe this is it!” She gets nearer and nearer, her smile growing with each step, until she is right next to him. She leans down, gives him a big kiss on the cheek, and whispers in his ear: “Have you ever been fucked?” Excitedly, the man responds “no!” The woman replies “well you’re fucked now, mate. The tide’s coming in.”
It is LAYHEEHOO
Just two palms and no dates.