Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
“Wow!” I say. “It’s climate change!”
What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous
Just stop giving a shit
…when Superman flies by and sees her. Her naked body has him feeling all types of ways, so he starts to think, "You know, I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I could be in and out of there before she even realizes what happened." So, Superman flies in, does his business and takes off. Wonder Woman says, "What was that?" The Invisible Man responds, "I don't know, but my fucking ass is killing me."
She got so mad she said she was never going to play Scrabble with me again!
Because the captain was standing on the deck
I asked what she had in mind. "Let's play doctor", she said. I told her to go in the bedroom, shut the door, take off all of her clothes and wait on the bed for me. After a half an hour I walked in, told her to lose 20 lbs. and handed her a bill for $300.
The second hand store.
For meatier showers
But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.
You boil the hell out of it.
She turned on the front camera
…and only a handful of cases of herpes was Clinton's.
On their 50th anniversary, a woman asks her husband, “What did you think of me when you first met me?”
The husband replies, "I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry." The woman then asks, "What do think of me now?" The husband takes a good slow look, running his eyes up and down all over her body. Finally, he answers, "I think I did a pretty good job."
Waitress: slaps me right across the face "The men I please are none of your damn business!"
We haggled for a few minutes and he gave me a 5% raise. Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, “By the way, which companies are after you?” I responded, “The gas, electric and cable company.”
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
He’s a small arms dealer…
My wife flashed before my eyes.
So I stopped and asked what had happened. Through the sobs, said said that she was due to go on holiday, but all the money she had been saving for months was gone. Feeling sorry for her, I decided to give her £50 to try and help a bit. It's not something I'd normally do, but I just found £2,000 in the car park
But none of them work
I don’t have 2020 vision for gods sakes quit asking me
The Canadian bartender says, "what's that about?" Man says, "yes."
I won’t rest until I find it.
A garbage truck
Pics are expected to prove supposed underground print version of famed forum made with "disappearing ink" a hoax.
Because then it's a pair-a-dice
then 25.8069758 is the root of all evil
Is like continuing from someone else’s saved game
It always cracks up
Then she noticed me, so we went for a run instead.
You should go for the juggler.