Pewdiepie’s sub is really full of free karma.
Haven't heard from him yet
I have a friend who was born on May 7th. Every year for his birthday I re-gift him a pristine 3 foot long fence pole. He hates it, but I have a perfect record.
It might be stupid, but it's a perfect 5/7, wood repost again.
Should win a no-bell prize
Tomorrow he will learn that most people do not believe you, even if you tell the truth.
Son: I hope you enjoy it. Dad: From now on,…… I’ll start living in the present.
it was dead
From a well, actually
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes’ wife is beginning to deliver the baby
The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see. "Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I…" Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You have a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter." "Thanks be to…" Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!" Soon the Doctor delivers a third child. The doctor holds up the baby for Mike's inspection. "Doctor," asks Mike, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?
It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz.
The correct term is turd-world countries.
She always starts by saying, “Hey, are you even listening?”
"Gladiator?" "No, I really miss her"
If it isn’t autocorrect… EDIT: In case you haven’t noticed, this is a repost. I’m not trying to cover it up, I don’t care. Just wanted to put it out there so the constant spam of comments calling me out on it can let up for a bit.
Nothing, they’re free of charge.
His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.
I just know something terrible’s about to happen… I can feel it.
It’ll be called “Many Cures and Manicures”
"We've come to inspect your house for drugs!" they shouted. I said, "Fuck off. Get your own."
I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig." “Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying.” "This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man … and then my dog bit me." "So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in it and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! But, hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"
You can hide but you cant run
They never seem to leave
Zero, because the change starts with you.
"Oh. I thought you were daddy!" I've never been so proud.
To cover their butt quacks.
Next to a Windu.
1) 2) 3)
Can someone from admin please explain to me why my post was removed? I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over.