Pink Panther’s to do list
- To do
- To do
- To do, to do, to do, to do, to do, to dooooo
At her parents house. Her father after being woken by the noises goes upstairs to check it out, and walks in on them. "Dad!" she exclaimed in a panic "…I'm sorry" The dad being a dad replies "hi sorry, I'm Dad!" He then turns to the boyfriend and asks "Are you fucking sorry?"
I'm a dais, I'm a DAIS! I'm a DAIS!
There was an island with three kingdoms on it. Let's call them A, B and C. The island had a fresh water lake on it and the lake itself had an island. The three kingdoms always kept fighting over this island. One day the three kingdoms decided to settle this dispute once it for all and sent small portions of their armies. Kingdom A sent 15 knights and 25 squires; kingdom B send 20 knights and 25 squires and Kingdom C sent one knight and one squire. The knights decided among themselves that this fighting was beneath them and decided to let the squires settle things by themselves. While the squires of Kingdom A and Kingdom B were warming up, the squire of Kingdom C erected a tall pole, tied a noose to it and hung a pot in the noose. When they actually started fighting, the squire of kingdom C was able to successfully fight off all the other squires, because the squire of the high-pot-and-noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
It's the best thing since sliced beard…
My buddy Brian does it for me.
And not joint custody
I said I wasn’t too sure about that but I do a wicked Bohemian Rhapsody…
It only takes one nail to hang up the painting.
Kenya believe it? I'm Ghana miss her.
"That's right," I answered. "I'm Dad."
It’s something I could always see myself doing
but none of them work.
Man: AND ?
2020, 24 hours to go…
They steal all of the bases.
…if you haven’t botany
Because everyone is Taipei.
I know, it sounds a little far fetched.
I was talking with fiance out getting married and he said he wasn’t excited about being called husbands.
But he though that wife had a nice ring to it.
And when someone tried to take the candy from my hat i told them "My hat my candy"
I'm not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin.
I know its not the greatest gift, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it.
It was bread in captivity.
Remains to be seen
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
I haven’t heard from him since.
Me: No, I think most of them smell that way.
GLOVES! Nah, just kidding… He still hasn't unwrapped his present.