Should've called it "the Father-figure"
Man: "Yeah… But she's got a great personality!"
Clerk responds, "No problem, sir. This room is called 'The Lobby'"
It has a lot of sin
When the big hand touches the little hand.
I'm sure he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
So my dog was barking at something outside and I was chilling in my recliner. I called her over to me, looked her dead in the eyes and told her she has barkinson’s disease. I then burst out in laughter almost falling out of my chair.
She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink? The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, a bleary-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink! The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them revealing the same hairy armpit and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink? Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!" The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's none of my business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her 'the ballerina' ?" The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina."
I know because I kept a log
that you misread the first line of this joke
Most crows drank at home
Dead ant, dead ant. Deadant deadant deadant, dead ant, DEAD AAAANT. Deadant.
The odds were against me
There was nothing left but de Brie.
It ended up making him sluggish.
– said by a very passionate eye doctor as they throw eye glasses into a crowd. (credit goes to my mom)
By removing the S.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta
"Well son, time for bed," the father says. "But dad, I'm 16 now!" the son complains. The father replies, "I don't care how old you are, you're not watching me masturbate."
It’s a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Because Dshells were too big.
Guess she’s homeless.
When she finds a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asks her husband "what do we do?" Husband says "I'm no expert, but I wouldn't fucking spank him."
The x and y axes are pretty cool but not the plot itself. That’s where I draw the line.
Well, it's not hard.
You boil the hell out of it
I was at the bar last night when the waitress yelled out, “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled out, “Hell, I know the whole alphabet!” Everybody laughed. Well, except for this one guy.
Exactly what you do when you take them out of the oven.
It was about time.