Poor Mr Endyman
it's too far to walk back.
Because they make the toys.
“You’re coming home now!” she screamed. “No, I’m not,” I laughed. She said, “I’m talking to the kids.”
Because I couldn’t possibly have been named before him
But then i turned myself around.
I’ll tell you tomorrow.
I always need to console myself.
What a strange way to start a conversation
He’ll be born in February.
Now every little ting is gonna be all right!
We were maid for each other.
My son came up to me and said, “can I have a bookmark?” I started crying, 10 years and he still doesn’t know my name is brad.
I did that but now I don’t know what to do with the letters
He was under a tack
You'd think it would be "R" or "C", but it's actually "P", because without it, he'd be irate.
A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok…
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich have horses.
Oh how the stables have turned.
And dropped them at the same time which half won? Neither. It was a tie.
I said great! don't forget to slam the door on my cock on the way out Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind door slammer.
For formal occasions, I wear my James clothes.
I failed my fire safety course when I was asked what steps I would take in case there was an explosion.
“Really large ones” wasn’t an acceptable answer.
A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over
'How did you know that it was dead?' Asked the teacher 'Because i pissed in its ear & it didn't move' Said the boy 'You did what?!?' Shrieks the teacher 'You know' Explains the boy, 'I lent over and went Pssst & it didn't move"
What do you call a cow that’s fallen asleep at a construction site? A bulldozer.