Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels.
Because they were not tenants.
Because it was filled with spring water.
I’ll beheading there shortly
“I’m thinking about tossing a $100 bill out the window and making someone very happy.” A White House aide comments, “Why don’t you throw twenty $100 bills out the window and make twenty people happy?” Another staffer jokes, “Why don’t you throw a hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people happy?” A member of the plane staff, wanting to get in on the act, chimes in and says, “Why don’t you throw yourself out the window and make half the country happy?”
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No one will be crossing the finish line
"Dad, what is the difference between confident and confidential?" The dad replies: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend next door is also my son, that is confidential."
The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
… I just saw the news and I think I saw Himalayan there.
But every time I bring it up, she smoothly changes the topic.
He was outstanding in his field.
Said the city's most hated cab driver.
It's called the Elder Scrolls Online.
Police: He's been trained to only react to the smell of drugs. Me: sigh Yeah… my dog has a real problem.
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He doesn't like to be spotted.
They come with that Elon Musk.
"Thanks Grandpa!" "Why did you call me Grandpa?" "Because I couldn't find it yesterday."