Dawn is tough on Greece.
He told me to fuck off and buy my own.
So they can Scan da Navy in
Yet they haven't. I don't geddit. Eddit: Leddit be heard, thank you for the silver!
He got buzzed
Beer nuts are always over a dollar, deer nuts are always under a buck. Goofy, I know, but still makes me laugh 20 years after I first heard it!
But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle
Glenn and his wife were working in their garden one day when Glenn looks over at his wife and says, “Your butt is getting really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom. "Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!" The wife chose to ignore the husband. Later that night in bed Glenn was feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie
You'll have to Walkman.
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
Smoking bacon cures it
You put a little boogie in it…
If it isn't 3 holes in the ground…
Don't use it.
Because one egg is un oeuf.
..But its definitely worth a shot.
A Scotsman walked into a bar. There'd normally be an Englishman, Irishman, and a Welshman as well, but they're still in Japan for the Rugby World Cup.
It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
What does the bar tender says when a Neutron enters the bar?”No charge for you sir”
"Like a boycott?" "Don't you start"
2020:stay away from positive people
It's not hard
One girl says “the sky is definitely blue” that is wrong One boy says “the leaves are definitely green” that is wrong One boy asks “are farts lumpy?” The teacher says no, He says “then I definitely shit my pants”
Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Do any of you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
Little Johnny replies, "Because George was the one holding the axe?