quarks to the rescue
He asks, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
It went up without any problems, but I was worried the whole time that it would insult me. because it was so offensive.
58. Edit: I genuinely didn’t know this was a repost my dad told it to me and I thought it was worthy.
"Do you smell carrots?"
Drop it in water… If it sinks: girl ant If it floats…..
Because people are exorcising.
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
A bad romance starts with a rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma gaga ooh la la.
Happy Mother’s Day!
… There used to be two of them, and now everyone is REAL SENSITIVE about it
It’s like I’ve never seen herbivore.
The bartender looks at him and says, “Do you know you’ve got a steering wheel in your pants?” The pirate goes, “Aye, it’s been driving me nuts!”.
The Bay of Pigs.
People must be dying to get there.
No text found
But I can't find any information about what happens there
Once there were four business men. They were sitting on a bench in a hospital waiting room because their wives were having babies.
A nurse comes over and says to the first businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had a baby." The man says, "What a coincidence! I'm the president of And1!" The nurse goes away. Then the nurse comes back and says to the second businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had twins!" The man says, "What a coincidence! I'm the owner of the Minnesota Twins!" The nurse goes away. The nurse comes back and says to the third businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had triplets!" The man says, "What a coincidence! I work for Triple Crown!" The nurse goes away. The nurse comes back and sees the fourth businessman alone on the bench crying. She asks, "Why are you crying"? The man replies, "I work for Seven Up."
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife
…and then I saw her face…
A farmer was picking apples when he heard a noise from his pond. He walks over and sees three young women skinny dipping.
They notice him and crouch in the water up to their shoulders. “Go away! Stop spying on us!” The farmer says “Sorry ladies, but I didn’t come out here to see you naked.” Holding up his apple bucket he says “I came to feed the alligator.”
Sometimes Mayo neighs.
She didn’t know I existed.
It was mother fucking gold
He’s a small arms dealer
My friends are worried, but i will be 0K
It had an ex axis, and a why axis.
Because he was outstanding in his field.
So I took her to dinner, then a movie and dropped her off at her parents' house
They always seem sketchy.