r/memes never ceases to provide
Plagiarism. I just made up that word.
That she was a little boulder.
She hasn’t realized it yet, but the Thyme is Cumin.
Mark the post with an NSFW tag
When I got home, I realised I’d only picked seven up.
She looked surprised.
I would not have to sell cocaine anymore.
No text found
Doctor: Let me tell you a story; a hunter carried his gun with him everywhere he went. One day, he mistakenly grabbed his umbrella and went out. A lion attacked him and hoping to scare it off he pointed the umbrella at it like a rifle and yelled "Bang" and the lion dropped dead. Man: That's impossible, someone else must have shot it. Doctor: I'm glad you understood the story.
A – meano -acid
But I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
But it’s definitely up there.
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?" "He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
The Indian Chief proclaims, “So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honour of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?” The Lone Ranger responds, “I’d like to speak to my horse.” The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver’s ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful,naked blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger’s Tent and spends the night. The next morning the Indian Chief admits he’s impressed. “You have very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?” The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse’s ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief’s surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a naked brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger’s tent and spends the night. The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. “You are indeed a man of many talents, but I still kill you tomorrow. “What is your last request?” The Lone Ranger responds,” I’d like to speak to my horse….ALONE.” The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger’s tent. Once they’re alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says: “Listen very carefully, you fcuking dickhead, for the last time………. . BRING POSSE!!!!”
You drop him a line.
It sounds so foreign.
There's no point
If you can’t come let me know.
A Sharpei 🖊
6 never did trust 7. Sure, they worked closely together, but 7 always seemed at odds with him. 6 always preferred the company of 4, a perfect 10 of a duo, even though 2 kept them apart. But when it came to 7? 6 always summed it up to bad luck. Then, 6 found the truth. 6 respected 9, even though lewd jokes always seemed to be made about the two. 6 found that 3 and himself could come together and be seen as equal to 9. When 9 was removed, 6 had a very negative feeling. Some were considered prime suspects in 9’s death. 2, 3, 5, and 7. 6 knew it had to be 7. His involvement with 9 added up two well. 6 snuck into 7’s house. He looked up from the floorboards, and found himself under 7. An admittedly inappropriate position for him, but 6 saw the proof he wanted: 9’s body, half devoured. 7 was a cannibal… 7 8 9. 6 has spent the remainder of his days terrified of 7, worried that someday 7 will learn what 6 knows… And promptly solve his problem.
Me: "Well thanks for changing her back."
Just watched an episode of MasterChef. The contestants had to successfully infuse a lump of meat with THC or get eliminated
I guess you could say the steaks were high
I took my 8-year old girl to the office with me on, “Take Your Kid to Work Day.” As we were walking around the office, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked what was wrong with her…
As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?!"
My dad always said, “ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
A finite quantity. One to complete the specific task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of persons from said demographic.
I’ll let you know.
He is a tail gunner on a school bus.
In a panic reflex I instantly changed to a random channel, the fishing channel. As my wife walks out again she says: "you should stay on the porn channel… you know how to fish."
…and then I saw her face…
They aren't funny unless everyone gets it
His name was Sir Render.
and it hertz alot.
I turned her down I don't like high maintenance women
As he lays there, unable to move, he thinks about all the rejection he has faced. Countless women, scared off by his grotesque appearance, have avoided all contact with him. Never been kissed, never been loved. As he reflects on his sad, lonely existence, a beautiful, busty young lady, in a very skimpy bikini, is walking past. She sees him – a small, limbless blob – out the corner of her eye. He gives her a smile and she smiles back. And then, she starts walking over to him! As she approaches he thinks to himself – “maybe this is it!” She gets nearer and nearer, her smile growing with each step, until she is right next to him. She leans down, gives him a big kiss on the cheek, and whispers in his ear: “Have you ever been fucked?” Excitedly, the man responds “no!” The woman replies “well you’re fucked now, mate. The tide’s coming in.”