R u ok
Why are snow cones never sold with lemon flavor?
Well, you should know.
Told my son to stop playing Russian roulette, but you know how it is with kids…
In one ear, out the other.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my Word!
What do you call 5 black guys having sex in 1789?
A threesome.
My cousin posted two jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted both of them.
He is my cousin, twice [removed]
Was asked in an interview if I could perform under pressure.
I said I'm not sure but I can definitely perform "another one bites the dust"
a communist joke isn‘t funny until every one gets it. ..
No text found
What do you call a colour that doesn’t exist?
A pigment of your imagination
You were named after Adolf Hitler.
He was named first!
Why do keyboard never sleep?
It's because they have two Shifts.
I know a great joke about unrefined oil, but I can’t post it here.
It's a little too crude.
“Hey officer, how did the hackers escape?”
"No idea, they just ransomware."
There once was a Red Indian who had only one testicle
and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!' The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.' Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, Made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! Why? Everyone knows… You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone
Because Beethoven was deaf, everyone said he couldn’t be a musician.
But did he listen?
“Sorry boss, I won’t be coming in today for the big meeting,” I told my manager.
"Why's that?" he asked. I said, "Yes, very wise.'
I thought taking a job as a ski instructor would be great.
But it really went downhill fast.
![[visible confusion]](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/v42d1y0frjf41-400x674.png)
A german was peeing in a street in New York…
… and a lady looks at him and says: 'Gross.' To which the German replies: 'Danke!'
I was going to start a bourbon company,
but I heard it's whiskey buisness.
How often should columns be connected at the top?
Just a lintel bit of the time
What did the grape say after it got stood on?
Nothing, it just started wine-ing
Scientists have recently discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart.
They say it's a blast from the past.
Dads are just like boomerangs..
.. I hope
I have a bunch of jokes about people who are unemployed.
But none of them work.
Dad I’m cold
Dad: go to the corner it's 90°
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank his tea before it was cool 😎
I’ve been having to use lettuce as TP since the Covid craziness
The worst part is the news says this is just the tip of the iceberg and what I need to use as TP tomorrow romaines to be seen. Stay safe kids, Dad
Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
What’s the difference between a jeweler and a prison guard?
one watches cells and one sells watches
My son is a man trapped in a woman’s body.
He’ll be born in February.
To the man who invented 0
Thanks for nothing
Flight attendant stop the bus I’m sea sick!
Sir you are on a train
What did Jesus say after he resurrected on the third day?
"You crossed the wrong guy."
Some people are so ignorant about anatomy.
Just today I had to explain to someone that there is a vas deferens between a testicle and a penis.
My wife yelled at me for having no sense of direction
So I packed up my stuff and right.
I wouldn’t recommend becoming an escapologist.
I can't get out.
If I had 50 cents for everytime I failed a math test..
I would have $6.38.
It wasn’t until I slapped the statue’s ass.
That I realized I had hit rock bottom
