As she rode by. She looked at me, gave me the finger, and turned back around and promptly plowed her bike into the cow. I tried.
He was sentenced to death
He was a neck romancer.
I got thrown out of DisneyWorld for spreading my dead mother’s remains around the park. It was her dying wish.
The security guards said I probably should have cremated her first.
With great powder comes great responsability
And a stray dog comes along and sits down next to them. Then the dog starts licking his balls. The men watch for a moment and one says "Gosh, I wish I could do that." The other says "Well, you'd better pet him a little first."
I told her, “Just you wait.”
At least, that's what I will hope.
The police verdict? Hummuscide.
I'll call it 'tit for tat".
One has claws at the end of the paws… The other is a pause at the end of a clause.
He reads lips Credit to https contagious laughter
No seriously, it is
Now she thinks I like her even though I was just correcting her grammar.
They always seem sketchy.
But not Fire. Fire works
The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity!
She said, “It’s driving me up the wall.”
I'll find you. I have contacts.
….thank you for the dad jokes. They may not all make us die laughing and some we've heard you tell a million times over, but the one thing they have in common is that they're told in kindness and they put a little smile on our faces. And living in this crazy world, that's a very good thing. I love you dad.
Well, I guess she was wearing them at the time.