Their socialism is just too much
They are in da skies.
The bartender asks, "what'll it be, Mr. President?"
In my defense it was doggy style so it's more like 14 minutes.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Because blonde men are stupid too.
A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar. Suddenly, the Jewish man punches the Chinese man in the face. "Ow! Why did you do that?" asks he Chinese man. "That's for Pearl Harbor," says the Jewish man. "But the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. I'm Chinese!" says the Chinese man. "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" asks the Jewish man. So the Chinese man punches the Jewish man. "Ow! What's that for?" asks the Jewish man. "It's for the Titanic," says the Chinese man. "What? That was an iceberg that brought down the Titanic!" says the Jewish man. "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place. (Edit: Folks, take a breath. It is a joke.)
Sails have gone through the roof
It was hard to differentiate between them.
She looked surprised.
And sometimes Mayo Neighs. (My dad plays RedDead Redemption and he legitimately caught a horse just to make this joke)
20, 20, 20, and 20.
I, foolishly, named my daughter Daenerys before seeing how Game of Thrones ended. But you live and you learn.
Now to take a big sip of coffee, sit down with my son, Judas, and read about how things worked out for this Jesus fella.
I was in a medieval literature class in college and the professor asked the class, "what can we tell about courtly love." To which I respond, "well, she wasn't much help to Kurt Cobain." No one laughed while I beamed with pride at my joke.
21st century: your vacuum cleaner makes no noise, your AC makes no noise, your washing machine makes no noise, your electric car makes no noise…
The city's street cleaning wagon is as noisy as Apollo 11 taking off
He goes before God and starts telling him holocaust jokes. God says “My son I don’t know what you’re doing, but this isn’t funny.” The man says”Oh well, I guess you had to be there.”
I looked at it and thought, “This isn’t for me.”
The Pencil has a point.
Paddy was telling Mick about his first sky-dive. When I got to the door of the plane I just couldn't jump so the 6ft 7inch black instructor unzips his fly and says: 'If you don't jump you're getting this baby right up your arse!' " Mick asks: "Did you jump?" Paddy replies: "A little bit when it first went in."
When I was about 9 years old, my father forced me to go with him to the funeral of a friend of his, that I didn’t know.
When we got there, I stayed in a corner, waiting for time to pass by. Then a man approached me and said, "Enjoy life boy, be happy because time flies. Look at me now…. I didn't enjoy it." He then passed his hand over my head and left. My father, before leaving, forced me to say goodbye to the dead person. When I looked in the coffin, I was startled that the man who was talking to me when I was in the corner was the same man in the coffin! For several years later, I was not able to sleep properly. With repeated nightmares and psychological disorder, I was terrified of being alone. I visited many psychologists. I didn't turn off the light at night and several other turmoil that I had to endure throughout my adolescent ages…. Years later I discovered something incredible that changed my life. That dead idiot had a twin brother.
He wanted to be a millionaire too
Spoiler 90108 for our lives to be over…
The dwarf laughs and walks under it
Apparently my property line isn’t where I thought
Stupid question, even a child knows that.