It was a salt and peppery.
I have a father figure
They lied, everyone else has clothes on
…I still love vista baby.
But It wouldn't wash off this morning, so I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.
Fruit flies like a banana.
"look mom no hans!"
The bartender cuts him off saying,”You only get one shot.”
He saw a sign at the front of a building that said "chicken strips for $2"
The catapult worked well
The gorilla runs up behind the lion, grabs on, and has his way with him. The gorilla then takes off running, with the very angry lion on his heels. As they run through the jungle, the gorilla gets a bit of a lead, and sees a British safari camp ahead. The gorilla enters the camp, grabs some khakis that are hung out to dry, and puts on pants, a shirt, and a hat. He sits on a chair by the campfire and grabs a copy of the local paper, pretending to read, to hide his face. The lion enters the campsite and lets out a huge roar. He yells, "did anyone see a gorilla run through here?" The gorilla, in full disguise, calls out, "you mean the one that fucked the lion up the ass?" The lion exclaims, "oh my god! It's in the paper already?"
The guy sitting next to him says, "Whoa, easy there buddy." The drunk says, "Are you a lawyer?" "No, I'm a thief" says the guy.
… it's like "Continuing" another dude's "Save File".
Not this year though – I'm quitting cold turkey…
If they pulled up both legs they would fall over.
.. is it like uploading one picture in Instakilogram?
They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.
But, as a man, I'm just a bit better at it.
So i packed up and right.
Now he's just Dave
I prefer to think of it as a father figure.