Sad reacts only.
IKEA has been accused of evading over $500 million in taxes. Apparently, prosecutors have been after them for years…
…but they're having a really hard time putting their case together…
Scotish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve: “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing”…
"Forty-five years of misery is enough”, he continued. "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams. “We can't stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says. “We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.” Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they're getting divorced!” she shouts, “I'll take care of this!” She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Sorted! They're coming for Christmas – and they're paying their own way."
Because he is a PM, not an AM
Guess who came crawling back
No text found
Tell him Obama put it in…
When they dug the remains up they saw that the skeleton had a fine layer of chocolate on it and after months of intense research they discovered that it was the remains of the famous Pharaoh Rocher.
He orders a bear.
Because I can stare at you for 3 hours and not understand a single thing
I told her no. I can't stand high maintenance women.
Dress as a professor. They barely cover anything important.
My mom looked at my dad. My dad clenched his fists. My mom screamed: "NO DON'T DO IT" …. My dad, breathing heavily: "HI GAY, I'M DAD!"
The captain was standing on the deck!
Dad: Spell! Kid: Spell who? Dad: W… H… O…
I have no words to describe how angry I am
and remember to call a doctor if your election lasts more than 4 hours.
that if a woman says "smell this" it usually smells nice
…so I could start it off on the right foot. 🤮 Happy new year!
Even the cake was in tiers!
They’re, there, their.
Because they're still alive.
But the people in Abu Dhabi do!
But that’s a story for another time
Man approaches a prostitute and asks for her rates. She replies, “ $10 for a quickie on the grass, $30 for a quickie in the car, and $50 for a sensual girlfriend experience at a hotel.” The man says, “ok, heres $50.” The prostitute say, “ ok cool, i see you a man of class!” The man then replies, “ class my ass, i want it 5 times on the grass!”
Should win a no-bell prize
The dwarf laughs and walks under it
He just walked up to it, kicked it and said “they sure don’t make them like they will do soon.”
No shit Sherlock