Saving a Christian

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!”

​

He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

​

He said, “Yes.”

​

I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”

​

He said, “A Christian.”

​

I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?”

​

He said, “Protestant.”

​

I said, “Me, too! What franchise?”

​

He said, “Baptist.”

​

I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”

​

He said, “Northern Baptist.”

​

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

​

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.”

​

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?”

​

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.”

​

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”

​

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”

​

I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.