Serbia Deploys Peacekeeping Forces To U.S.
…if it isn't autocorrect…
One’s very heavy and the other is a little lighter.
A nickeless cage.
An animal lover, a zoophile, a sadist, a necrophile, a pyromaniac and a masochist are talking. Animal lover: We should get a dog! Zoophile: and fuck him Sadist: and torture him Pyromaniac: and set him one fire Necrophile: and fuck the corpse Masochist: woof
…if you haven’t botany
When she finds a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asks her husband "what do we do?" Husband says "I'm no expert, but I wouldn't fucking spank him."
A head banger
They don't sell alcohol to miners
I guess we are raised differently…
Whilst sniffling and coughing and rolling around in the hotel bed, I realised I needed medical attention, so I called the concierge to get help. "Oh, so you're sick!" came the reply. "Not a problem, we'll send our very own hotel doctor up to your room right away!" The doctor strolled into the room within seconds, and whilst I stuttered and tried to comprehend the situation, he gave me some medicine to ease the symptoms. When I finally stammered out "h…how does the hotel have their own doctor on call?", he simply shook his head and cracked a smile, and replied: "Nobody expects the Spanish inn physician."
…there will be hell toupee.
A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the wind shield. Embarrassed, and to spare her young daughter's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was just an insect." To which her daughter replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."
It’s an extremely rare dish order.
It’s not much, but it’s a rewarding job
that motherfucker ain’t afraid to die.
… unless they're flashing behind you.
I call it a homie-hoe-stasis.
It marked the first time he's passed in years.
At least, that’s what she said in her diary
But my doctor just said B positive
I put on the wrong sock this morning.