Seriously wtf
Butterflies
"This is my butterfly collection! We have a wide range. This is Fred- off there in the corner. The monarch. Beautiful pattern. We got him from the Toledo Zoo. But careful you don't startle him- he isn't the socialist of butterflies."
Why couldnโt the bicycle stand up?
Because it was two tired.
The wife said she is leaving because of my sexual fetishes
I said great! don't forget to slam the door on my cock on the way out Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind door slammer.
How do you get Trump to change a light bulb?
Tell him Obama put it in…
The Minotaur is really stubborn….
You can say he's bull-headed.
What do you call a hippies wife?
Mississippi.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition.
Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall.
As he turned and sneered at me, I thought, "that's a little condescending."
Why did it take so long for the pirates to learn the Alphabet?
They got stuck at C
I am on day 9 of quarantine and was wondering if anyone had any porn sites they’d like to recommend other than:
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r/pornvids r/nsfw_videos Meet People r/dirtysnapchat Other NSFW r/randomactsofblowjob r/NSFWFunny r/pornhubcomments r/confusedboners r/dirtykikpals r/nsfw_wtf r/randomactsofmuffdive r/stupidslutsclub r/sluttyconfessions r/sextrophies Armpits cause people like that r/armpits r/celebrityarmpits r/armpitfetish I donโt even know where the fuck this would go section r/dragonsfuckingcars r/SCPORN r/fedlegs r/cummingonfigurines r/dragonbutts r/dragonpussy r/dragonpenis These have gotten boring ๐ Any help is much appreciated. Thanks.
Why has Japan had so many conflicts and wars?
Because they have lots of animes.
The girl with the big booty and a lisp wasnโt at work
She must have called in thick
Putin on a trip.
Vladimir Putin is traveling abroad. He enters the customs line, approaches the agent and is asked: Agent: age? Putin: 66 Agent: occupation? Putin: not this time, just visiting.
[Announcement] If you keep spamming your youtube channels here then your post will be marked as spam.
Which means that you will not only be banned from posting to this sub but you may get a shadow ban from reddit. Shadow ban means that you will not be able to post anything to ANY subreddit. Just follow the rules before posting.
When a women is giving birth, sheโs literally kidding.
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Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.
I mean he just blew up overnight.
I asked my amputee daughter if she could guess what we are having for dinner tonight
She replied with "I don't know dad I'm stumped"
Why do seagulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay theyโd be bagels.
It is hard to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
I beat my swimming coach in a boxing fight.
He threw in the towels.
It’s weird how nobody knew who the Iranian general Soleimani was a few days ago…
It's like he blew up overnight.
Im not a father but I make dad jokes.
I guess I'm a faux pas.
I overheard someone saying that a truck carrying Scrabble games overturned on route.
At least thatโs the word on the street.
Which is heavier, the collected works of Shakespeare or a prison full of inmates?
The prose outweighs the cons.
I buy my guns from a T-Rex.
He's a small arms dealer.
Genie: You have 3 wishes.
Me: I've seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way. Genie: I promise that won't happen. I'm so sure it won't I'll give you infinite wishes if it does. Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth. Genie: You son of a…
Iโm bisexual
If i canโt get sex, I bi it
Petition to lock this sub once a week
Because there's no post on Sunday
When God closes a door, He opens a window.
My point is, this church needs a better fire evacuation system.
What do you call egg salad that’s just okay?
Ehh-gg salad.
I can always tell when I’m near an Indian restaurant
That's naan-sense, of course.
Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?
They say the business is toast.
My son just told me his first dad joke. He’s 8, so go easy.
Son: what did the fig say to the table? Me: I don't know, what did the fig say to the table? Son, angry voice: Hey! I'm asking the questions here. You FIG-ure it out.
I’ve failed in Maths more times than I can count.
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