Shared by my honorary boomer cousin
What is the least spoken language in the world?
Sign language
What jokes are allowed during quarantine?
inside jokes 😀
To the person that stole my broken bathroom scale,..
You won’t get a weigh with this!
The opposite of Microsoft Office is…
Macrohard Onfire.
I probably made over 5 forms that were just front end and had no function whatsoever
https://ift.tt/2YsLYv4
Hookers don’t fart
They let out little prosti-toots
A cowboy appears before St. Peter.
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered. "On a trip to the Big Horn Mountains out in Wyoming, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground." I yelled, "Now, back off or I'll kick the shit out of all of you" Saint Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?" "Couple of minutes ago."
A man was found abusing words
He got a sentence.
Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
Why can’t the USA tell knock knock jokes?
Because freedom rings
A snail was told he would go faster if he took his shell off………
…… but it just made him more sluggish!
You can’t plant any flowers
if you haven’t botany
I have seen a kidnapping.
I decided to let the kid sleep
Did you hear about the successful cows?
They were out standing in their field
“To be and not to be”
—Schrödinger's Hamlet
If you think 2020 puns are bad this year, just wait until next year.
Hindsight will be 2020.
My friend is making a lot of money by selling photos of salmon dressed up in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
Joke my 6 year old son made up.
What is the best type of pan to cook fish in? A CAST iron pan. Get it? Because you have to cast for fish. I thought it was super cute!
I don’t know any dean jokes.
No text found
My wife and I are both feminist
But, as a man, I'm just a bit better at it.
I have a few jokes on unemployed people
But none of them work.
I was walking through a quarry…
I said to the foreman, “That sure is a big rock!” “Boulder,” he corrected me. So I stuck out my chest and shouted, “THAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!!”
I taught a wolf to meditate
Now he's aware wolf
Justice is a dish best served cold
If it were served warm, it would be justwater.
I was feeling lonely so I bought some shares
It's nice to have some company
What has 3 arms and 4 legs?
My son's shitty drawing of a snake
My father doesn’t trust anyone. In fact he has a saying…
But he won't tell me.
My son beat my neighbor in a marathon race.
He's now in custody for assault.
