She has more balls than this entire administration- testified for 11 hours, and they got nowhere with their fake Benghazi commission.
Your body takes a screenshot
It’s all over town.
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator. Edit: Thanks for the gold (career first) :0
Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche.
She said “yes, the others were at least eights or nines”
But cocaine is where I draw the line.
I don't get the difference.
An amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" A professional thief says, "Sign here please."
Once the clothes came off she said to me "You have the biggest dick I have ever laid my hands on" I said, "Stop pulling my leg."
Nothing, they're already stuffed…
Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar. Homeless man: "All right sir, what's your name?" Me: "John." Homeless man: "So John, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right again, now look at that white cat walking around – how many hairs are on that white cat?" Me: "I don't know. A lot?" Homeless man: "Well John, how do you know so much about black cock and so little about white pussy?"
Bond. James bond.
My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” she laughed.
“Sure, it does.” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
I replied, "Probably failing my driving test."
A mother is concerned that her son isn’t making enough money on his own, so she asks what he will do for a living
And he says he won't have a real job, but he has found a legal loophole to take advantage of the sketchy business practices in his city; he discovered many of the repossession companies in his city didn't fill out the proper paperwork before taking a car away. So he would buy a new car on loan and intentionally not make the payments. When the repossession company would come, he would let them take it, and then threaten to sue them in court. He would rough himself up a little bit, and the company would settle outside of court; they would pay for the car to avoid getting a negative reputation. "That's smart son, but what makes you think you'll be successful here?" "That's easy. Repo sting for car, ma!"
Otherwise she wouldn’t untie me from the tracks.
I told my boyfriend we could watch a porn for his birthday and do everything that we saw in the video.
He was super psyched, until I fucked the pizza delivery guy.
His name was James Pond
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.