She Murdered Him 😂😂😂😂
Saw a fellow whose trolley was full to the brim with hand sanitiser, baby wipes, soaps, toilet paper; everything that people are in need of. I called him a selfish b*stard and gave him a lecture about the elderly and infirm etc. who need these types of things. Told him he should be ashamed of himself! He said: "That’s all good and well mate, but I work here, so can I carry on filling the shelves now?”
But when I didn't pay he came back and repossessed my house
My Ma: I'm not buying you a car.
Little did he know toucan play at that game
Trouble is, none of them work.
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Sometimes, he laughs!
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools
Who’s there? Wah. Wah who? Settle down. This isn’t THAT great of a joke.
I've never paid $100 to have a lentil on me.
The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.
No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.
Now I can play some hard rock.
I have beef, chicken, and vegetable. One day I hope to be bouillonaire.
If it isn't 3 holes in the ground…
But hay, it’s in my jeans.
To work on his pecks
Two loading animations!
When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times, eventually they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater.
I love Harry Potter but after re-reading the chapter the death-day party I realized something about nearly headless nick
He was a very poorly executed character
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
As she rode by. She looked at me, gave me the finger, and turned back around and promptly plowed her bike into the cow. I tried.
Oh you are? I see. Why?
But no one has given me a straight answer
A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu: "Cheeseburgers: $5 Fries: $3 Handjobs: $10." He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs?" "Yes, I am," she replies seductively. "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
His name is Rick O’Shea.
He was outstanding in his field.
You have to do it bit by bit.
The Pencil has a point.
My family and friends all laughed when I told them that one day, I would discover the secrets of invisibility…
If only they could see me now…
Add Spring Water