She’s normally so reliable!
Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?" "Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, collecting donations." "How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks. The man replies, "Roughly a gallon."
I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
I’ll tell you tomorrow.
but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.
"It's for my husband," she tells the clerk "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm going to shoot him!"
Now I know not to keep the superglue and the lube in the same drawer.
Now, it makes all the cents in the world.
The plot thickens
I said, "No, wait! I can change."
Because communication is key.
I said, "Sometimes I pull it down over my face and pretend it's a balaclava."
Its called inflation.
Normally i don’t go because I’m poor
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Turned on On my lap Virus free
I just asked my 14 yr old after he was talking the whole time while I was showing how to do something. ‘Do you know why god gave us two eyes and only one mouth?’
‘Because we don’t need depth perception with our mouths ‘ was his technically correct answer
I refused to be spoken to in that tone of voice
Unless you Count Dracula.
Because dogs can't whistle!
Noble gasses don't cause a reaction
Then she did and my day was ruined.
Terrorist organisations take responsibility for their actions.
For support, rather than illumination.
Come on guys! It's a Dead Giveaway!
They didn’t do anything at all
I’ll have to change my name.
They saw our review. 1 star
You just have to have a feel for it.
I thought to myself, “now that’s a little condescending”
(After they reply with R) Ye think it’d be Arr, but me first love be the C
But backwards it’s even more stupid.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia
I just can't think of one atm
In case they need to draw blood
The people in Dubai don't like The Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi dooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Medicine is well respected among general public. Physics is also regarded highly by many people.But i want to know, among both these subjects/discipines , which is tougher from the point of view of intellectual demand/ intelligence required to study ?
If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.