Because communication is key.
I said “ son, that’s 3 schools this year… maybe teaching isn’t for you.”
Since vampires are hurt by holy water, I always wondered why Priests don’t bless storm clouds and kill them from above. Then I realized why most vampires live in Europe
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
Moses. He could control sea.
So many plot holes. Like, where did the murder hornets go? Why introduce them if they're not important to the story? I'm feeling Lost.
I wonder what he’s up to?
Because its two-tired.
Thanks for nothing.
I'm a cashew!
Because it is capsized.
Plagiarism (thanks to my 11 year old for that one!)
Rebrand it as a rap song and name it, "Yo Bitch, It's Freezing Outside."
I lost and it still Hertz
He liked to pump irony.
This means it's illegal to ejaculate in a school zone. I don't think the speed was why I was arrested though.
that if a woman says "smell this" it usually smells nice
None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw.
He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh at him and say"That's a girl's name!" Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude! Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him. Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they? George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge! (silence) Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them. Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
I dropped out.
I’m a cashew
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Parents are supposed to wrap empty boxes to put under the tree. Then when the children are naughty, throw one in the fire.
But what if they run out of children?
A gallon of water. Butane is a lighter fluid.
“I don’t know we never measure it”
Just to take the edge off
I hope it doesn't run in the family because my dad has it too.
I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.