A rip off.
The doctor says, “5 penises!? How do you pants fit?” The man replies “Like a glove.”
Then God said there is no Steven Hawking
It had an ex axis, and a why axis.
I'm going to try the meatballs next time.
All of them.
I told her, " You must be sitting on the F5 key, because that butt is refreshing." … She said, "No it's Alt +F4". I just got shut down.
I know a kid who was born without eyelids. His parents decided to have him circumcised and used his foreskin as a skin graft for his eyelids. The surgery went really well….
…. although afterwards he was a bit cockeyed.
I’m an eighth-theist
…by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy…
He'll be born in April
It becomes a laughing stock
One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
Let that sink in for a minute
He slapped my hand away. Turns out he wasn't born yesterday.
A man dies and he’s able to be in heaven and in hell for 1 day so he could choose which he likes best.
And heaven was boring as fuck and hell was a 24/7 hookers and blow non stop party. So the next day he goes back to st Peter? And says, "nah.. I'm going to stay in hell" and when he goes back down with the devil it's all torture and Sulphur and fire and brimstone and he goes to the devil and says "what the fuck?? Where are the hookers and blow? The dj and pools?" and the devil responds…. "well, that's the difference between being a tourist and being an immigrant"
but wouldn't it be kinda funny if dinosaurs made humans go extinct?
Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at maturity of a 12 years old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much. “I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married.” She said, “Yes I will marry you and learn to live with your infant penis.” Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait so Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touch teasing, holding one another. As Sandy put her hands in Jim’s pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong. She said, “You told me your penis was the size of an infant!” “Yes it is: 8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long!”
I can never get a straight answer
Now I Think I’m getting haunted by a poultrygeist
G: Nobody gets the girl. PG: The good guy gets the girl. R: The bad guy gets the girl. X: Everybody gets the girl!
I’m a faux pas.
To know about current events.
Pretty nuts, if you ask me.
Paragraph, cause he’s not a full essay
it's not hard.
"I’ve just had sex education in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before marriage, my boyfriend will die!" I put down my paper: ‘Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will.’ ”
Because it’s cheaper…