When Hitler removes Polish with chemicals, everyone loses their shit..
The boy, who had just coloured his hair various shades started feeling uncomfortable by the old man's gaze. Unable to take it anymore, the boy shouted – "What is it old man? Can't stomach when people do wild things?" The old man replied – "I once fucked a peacock when I was a teen. Wondering if you're my grandson".
Who needs lightbulbs when you have eight candles?
When it's fully groan.
They did unspeakable things to me.
I went to see a fortune teller last night. She looked at me and said, “In five years time you will have 3 children.”
"But I already have 4 children!" I laughed. She said, "I know, cancer is a bastard."
it was a counter-attack.
More on this story later…
The wall has never been anything but supportive.
But two Wrights make a plane.
Lovely woman; terrible surgeon.
It was a nice jester.
"No it fucking isn't, Adam."
Because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.
I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.
I don’t know what to make of it.
It’s usually the other way around.
I told her, "no, I think all kids smell like that."
So I choose not to post it this time around
Last night for example, I couldn't fall asleep, because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.
My friends and I tried to bypass the quarantine laws by dressing up as crows and hanging out together on top of a telephone wire
Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.
Upon his son's return, the father finds out that his son has turned Christian! So, the father goes to his friend for emotional support. He says “Ethan, I sent my son over to Jerusalem, and he came back Christian”! “That’s odd…” His friend said, “I sent my son over to Jerusalem, and he came back Christian too”! They both decide to go to their Synagogue and talk to the Rabbi. “Rabbi, Ethan and I sent our sons over to Jerusalem, and they came back Christian”! “That’s odd…” the Rabbi said “I sent my son over to Jerusalem, and he came back Christian too”! Utterly dumbfounded, all three of the men decide to fly over to Jerusalem to see if they can get any answers. The three men arrive in Jerusalem and looked around for the better part of a day and found no clues. So, they go to the West wall and kneel down. The Rabbi prays, “Oh, God! Give us wisdom. We sent our sons to Jerusalem, and each one came back Christian”! As they were kneeling, God said, ”That’s odd…” Edit: a word
Nurse: which doctor? Me: No, just the regular one
I'm in a lot of Paine.
Went to the doctors the other day and said ‘ I’m having loads of trouble hearing people when they speak’
Doctor said ‘ right ok. Can you describe the symptoms?’ I said ‘yeah Marge has blue hair and homer is a fat bloke’
I refuse to associate with a Hulu-cost denier.
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
A man walks into a hardware store and speaks to the cashier. "Have you any two watt bulbs?" "For what?" "That'll do, I'll take two." "Two what?" "I thought you didn't have any?" "Any what?" "Yes please!"