smh fake fans are something else
My shower gets turned on.
"I said Trump/Pence."
Jokes on him, I don’t have a roommate.
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
But then I was like Na, people wont understand.
It’s made with hole milk.
a passing soldier assures her that he can help. She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens……. "That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?" "Easy," replies the soldier. "These are my khakis".
It’s only the first date.
Is the day they make a vacuum cleaner.
You knock on the door.
They fit like a glove
Well the flag is a big plus!
Luckily for me he was so good, I didn't give a shit.
A little girl says to her mother: “Mummy, when you were away at the weekend a strange lady came around”
"Not now," says Mummy. "Wait until Daddy gets home." So they wait until Daddy gets home, and then Mummy says "Now dear, what were you saying about Daddy and the strange lady?" And Daddy starts to say something but Mummy says, "You keep quiet – I'll be talking to my attorney in the morning. Carry on, dear." "Well," says the little girl, "Daddy told me to stay downstairs while they went upstairs, but I followed them without Daddy seeing me, and I saw them hugging and kissing at the top of the stairs. Then they went into your bedroom and shut the door, but I went up and looked through the keyhole." "Clever girl," purrs Mummy. "What could you see through the keyhole?" "I saw them hugging and kissing some more, and then they started to take each other's clothes off, and they carried on until they had nothing on, and then the lady got on the bed and Daddy got on top of her." "Yes?" says Mummy. "And then what happened?" "Then they did what you and Uncle Jack did when Daddy was in Vancouver last year," says the little girl confidently.
It made me sad, because I knew it was bread in captivity.
you say it in a British accent.
They are really good at it.
The other cow says, “Why should I be? I’m a helicopter.”
I said no. I can't deal with a high maintenance woman.
He was pulled in by a strong currant.
Just give it time.
..One’s a Corona virus and the other’s a Verona crisis.
You have my Word!
..it became beer.
Carrots may be good for your eyes but booze will double your vision.
The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.