Quadratic Formula! Maybe this is more of a mom joke… Edit: this isn’t my joke. I thought this sub might enjoy it though
I said "6' 2", but good guess."
With just the tip.
but I'm clean now.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
She’s a really big help.
Husband: “Ok… but I talk a lot of shit when I’m high”
No forks were given
"No", replies Mickey, "I said she was fucking Goofy."
The horse replies "You read my mind buddy!"
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Whereas the impeachment of Clinton was the legacy of his stain.
So I drove him to the hospital. He couldn't have been ill though, because he didn't get out.
Holding cows together
Guess who came crawling back
He's a Cairo-practor…
A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where Upon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russian." Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again Silence. The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn is better than one thousand Russians from: The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought… Then silence. Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men…it's a trap. There's two of them."
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Tools!! I meant tools!! Stupid keyboard…
He won the "No-Bell Prize"
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in front of the door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a volcano? Anakin Skywalker
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Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
It would de-feet the whole porpoise…
I said, “Just because you’re unwilling to try new things, doesn’t mean everyone’s that frigid.” “Not that,” she explained, “It’s just the plumbers that come to our house have tiny cocks.”
My life is a joke.
Dear sir, Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage. Sincerely, your service provider.
Because he never had to run for his office