Mother Superior: "Sister Maria, if you walk through town at night, and you're accosted by a man with bad intentions, what would you do?" Sister Maria: "I would lift my habit, mother Superior." Mother Superior (shocked): "And what would you do next?" Sister Maria: "I would tell him to drop his pants." Mother Superior: (even more shocked) "And what then?" Sister Maria: "I would run away. I can run much faster with my habit up than he with his pants down."
DAD: I’ll have the rabbit stew WAITER: only if you promise not to say “waiter there’s a hare in my soup” after I bring it … DAD: I’ll have the chicken
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He originally had dreams of being a web designer
Just enough to get Bi
There would be a mass confusion
My hot as hell lesbian neigbors asked me to be to sleep with them so they could have a baby. We’ve been trying for three years now.
I haven't got the heart to tell them I got a vasectomy five years ago.
They're both pro-grammars
i thought to myself, that's a little condescending.
All I keep getting are scientific articles.
Student: “Hey can you check this to see if it’s right?” Student hands me their writing. Me, holding their paper upside down: “well, first of all, it’s written upside down.” And then I give it back to them and walk away as if nothing happened.
Asking for a friend.
But I’m 22 to say it
One connects to your devices and accesses your data, the other is a hardware standard.
A yes horse.
It was a brief case Edit: my first silver! Thank you, kind stranger.
A solid 10, but also imaginary.
WHAT?! I CANT HEAR YOU!
They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
It’s where you go if you don’t believe in gosh.
But none of them work out
The Priest asks her, "What troubles you, my child?" The woman replies,"Father, I have two female parrots at home. They only say " Hey cutie, wanna have some fun? " and " You can do whatever you want to me ", and nothing else. This has ruined more than one dinner party. I don't know what to do!" "Worry not, my child" the Priest says. "I have two male parrots at the abbey that only pray and read scriptures. Perhaps your parrots should spend some time with them and they might pick up better language." The woman thanks the priest and brings her parrots the next day. On entering the birdcage, the two female parrots immediately go," Hey cutie, wanna have some fun? " and" you can do whatever you want to me. " One male parrot says to the other," Look Frank! Our prayers have been answered! "
One says to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
You hang around here, I’ll go on ahead.
It was a Shih Tzu.
I will be in my Lab if you need me.
But I managed to pull it off
Turns out I’m 100% dyslexic.
Gravity: notices your buldge Proto star: Blushes