So if I ask asks the singer Cher to get information about a product or service for me and she returns with paper materials about the product to make it easier to lean about them would that make her a brochure?
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…with 2 large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in those bags?" "Sand," answered Juan. The guard says, "We'll see about that. Get off the bike." The guard takes the bag and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analysed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and let's him cross the border. A week later the same thing happened. The guard asks, "What have you got?" "Sand," says Juan. The guard does his through examination and discovers that the bag contains nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on bycycle. This sequence of events is repeated every day for 3 years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him by coincidence. "Hey buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about and I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling." Juan sips his corona and says, "Bicycles."
A good time ruined by a period.
Which is ironic, because we were both waiting for the bus.
When I was in kindergarten, I was so caught up in learning the names of all the numbers that I memorized them out of order.
I couldn't see the fours for the threes.
I said, "I'm not too fussy as long as it doesn't have ghosts in."
The rest of your life.
I was walking through a graveyard earlier today when I saw a guy squatted behind a tombstone. I said “morning!”
He replied “no, just taking a shit”
I walked in and caught her masturbating. She called me a sick pervert. There's no justice in this world.
Because it isn’t easy to tell them a part.
Tell him Obama put it in
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.”
He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optician.”
The Italians just introduced it to women
Me: "January first." She: "What year?" Me: "Every year."
Now they also call me poor.
She was furious. “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?” she said.
She said "Fuck you". So I'm pretty excited for 2019.
the shower usually gets turned on.
A nice game of gluten tag always cheers me up.
I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
I like to sit in my own pew. Credit to my 7 year old granddaughter.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
ELSEVIER LIBRARY SUBSCRIPTIONNHello everyone! I’m Phuong Tran, a medical student and come from VietNam.And I have some elsevier accounts, and I want to share it with everyone. And you can access Scopus, Sciencedirect, Clinicalkey.The account is register by your email and used with two mobile apps and one website. Registration fee is very cheap, 2$ per month and 20$ per year.If you want to register an uptodate account, send to me a message Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100012033042613 or telegram https://ift.tt/3cIXwzD will subscribe account first, then you will transfer after received your account py Pay Pal.
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Every time on person sneezes, 10 people around them shit themselves.
I went to the doctor’s yesterday and told him that I kept thinking I was Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. With a look of concern, he asked…
“How long have you been having these Disney spells?”
It cracks up!
what did the buffalo say to his son when he left? bi-son