So my husband is trying to get hired by an airline…
I had to fight my wife and two doctors to do it.
So they could see the battlefield
She said, “It’s a slippery slope.”
than the men who mention it.
He quiets the audience by raising his hand and then begins to speak… "Uno…" "Dos…" And then he vanished without a Tres.
his funfair is next monkey
You know, one would have been enough.
That's ridiculous, considering they're working around the clock.
Baa dum hiss
You've seen the mall!
…You never know when you might need a nail.
I don't know what they've been laced with but I've been tripping all day.
I try to use it as often as possible.
Because he's always in stitches!
So they can fight knights.
In China, dogs are E10.
Be a shame if someone put an S in front of it and an E behind it.
So I killed him and the Judge gave me 40 years!!
But it can't be that hard.
Crows had to drink at home
Specifically jokes for a 2nd in command, or 1st Officer to the Captain. Like: "Hi, I'm second in command so I have to drive the ship when the Captain gets seasick." Or "Hi, I'm second in command, which means I do the hard job and the Captain gets credit for it!" I'd be grateful if anyone can share any.
But my dog has to be so sick of that stupid movie by now.
Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it
Me: What's the bad news? Doctor: You've got 24 hours to live. Me: Then what's the worse news!? Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday
He’s never gonna give you Up.
Husband: Well yeah, I'm watching a video on how to do it. Wife: And when does that part come? Husband: Probably after he finishes fucking her.