So that’s how it works
I have a hunch it might be me.
But smoking bacon will cure it.
And its a 45 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering.
You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply
Mom: No, no, why would you think that? Dad: It was a more of a tragedy, really.
What a strange way to start a conversation with me…
They understand the gravity of the situation.
His friend asks, "Who?"
No pun in ten did.
He doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation.
It's the state of affairs.
One blink and they’ve gone pasteurise.
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Doctor: Wow! That’s the worst case of Parking Son’s disease I have ever seen.
It will help you in the long run.
Can February March? No, but April May.
It’s full of s&m porn. Mom says: well what are we going to do? Dad says: what do you mean? Mom says: well.. we can’t spank him.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Dad: *Getting into row boat* "either oar"
It was a pigment of my imagination.
Because he hated capitalism.
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.
Because he keeps breaking the fourth wall
Zero fucks were given.
and it doesn't.
She just drinks straight out of the bottle…
James Bond's doorbell
Because they insist on carrying a baby to full term
You guys probably never heard of herbivore
A spare, I guess
Actually, I’ve just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad. I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. In the end the iron calmed me down as she said everything will be fine, the situation isn’t that pressing. The vacuum was very unsympathetic… told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and felt it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and it didn’t say anything, but the door knob told me to get a grip. The front door said I was unhinged and then…. The curtains told me to pull myself together!